STREAMING NOW: Watch Now
CLOSINGS: View Closings

Kavanaugh shows how easily Washington forgives its own

Meet Brett.Brett once worked for Ken Starr, who set out to publicly humiliate Bill Clinton and Monica...

Posted: Oct 9, 2018 10:40 AM
Updated: Oct 9, 2018 10:40 AM

Meet Brett.

Brett once worked for Ken Starr, who set out to publicly humiliate Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in the most vicious way possible. Bill was forgiven, including by many feminists.

Hiring

Human resources and personnel management

Labor and employment

Ken, it seems, was forgiven, too, and he became president of Baylor University, where some athletes raped and sexually assaulted some women.

Ken, in turn, was forgiving to the athletes, and got into trouble for it. As he left Baylor, he got a $4.52 million payout as a consolation prize.

Brett then went to work for George W. Bush, who invaded Iraq on an unjustified pretext and destroyed countless lives. George then retired, took up painting and was forgiven.

Brett then got a job offer from Donald Trump, who'd done lots of horrible things and continues to do lots of horrible things, but is continuously forgiven -- not just by his base, but also by GOP politicians, who claim they don't forgive Donald but wind up voting for things he wants anyway.

In order to get the job, Brett had to go through an important job interview. Brett's interview drew comparisons to Clarence Thomas, who was accused of harassing Anita Hill. Hill was eviscerated, but Clarence was forgiven, thanks to some help from Joe Biden. Joe has since been forgiven for helping Clarence. To this day, Joe feels the notion that he should acknowledge his full responsibility for Hill's treatment is "unfair."

Brett muffed his big job interview. Really muffed it. That's when Brett was defended by John Yoo. John was a lawyer for George. While working for George, John drafted the memos that paved the way for torture and eventually resulted in terms like waterboarding and rectal hydration becoming as American as apple pie. John was forgiven for helping to create the legal groundwork for government-run torture and is now a law professor at Berkeley.

Brett's job interview was so bad, in fact, that it was mocked by Matt Damon on Saturday Night Live. Not too long ago, Matt got into trouble for his tone-deaf comments about Casey Affleck (who is now forgiven), Louis CK (who's working on getting forgiven), and Harvey Weinstein (who hasn't yet been forgiven, but can we really for sure say he won't be at some point?) who all got in trouble for sexual misconduct. But Matt was really funny on SNL, so he was forgiven for equivocating about Casey, Louis, and Harvey.

A little while later, Brett got the job.

And now everyone's mad at everyone else for some reason.

Huntsville
Clear
28° wxIcon
Hi: 43° Lo: 20°
Feels Like: 23°
Florence
Clear
27° wxIcon
Hi: 46° Lo: 23°
Feels Like: 27°
Fayetteville
Clear
25° wxIcon
Hi: 43° Lo: 20°
Feels Like: 19°
Decatur
Clear
28° wxIcon
Hi: 43° Lo: 20°
Feels Like: 22°
Scottsboro
Scattered Clouds
28° wxIcon
Hi: 43° Lo: 21°
Feels Like: 28°
WAAY Radar
WAAY WAAY-TV Cam
WAAY Temperatures

Alabama Coronavirus Cases

Cases: 247229

Reported Deaths: 3577
CountyCasesDeaths
Jefferson32718500
Mobile19904362
Madison13425148
Tuscaloosa13167154
Montgomery12380236
Shelby1046577
Baldwin882098
Lee778566
Morgan675150
Calhoun6366121
Etowah635166
Marshall630955
Houston532338
DeKalb489736
Cullman447442
Limestone430245
St. Clair425755
Lauderdale413354
Elmore409464
Walker3689111
Talladega353554
Jackson327123
Colbert314642
Blount294640
Autauga275142
Franklin254233
Coffee246515
Dale234454
Dallas226532
Chilton225038
Russell22313
Covington220334
Escambia198631
Chambers177250
Tallapoosa177091
Pike159214
Clarke158919
Marion141336
Winston134423
Lawrence129636
Pickens124218
Geneva12378
Marengo122524
Bibb118817
Barbour117511
Butler117342
Randolph103821
Cherokee102924
Hale97731
Fayette92216
Clay92024
Washington91619
Henry8676
Lowndes79929
Monroe79011
Cleburne77414
Macon74522
Crenshaw71230
Bullock70019
Perry6896
Conecuh68514
Lamar6838
Wilcox63918
Sumter58422
Greene42718
Choctaw42613
Coosa3464
Out of AL00
Unassigned00

Tennessee Coronavirus Cases

Cases: 366518

Reported Deaths: 4554
CountyCasesDeaths
Shelby47963660
Davidson42880420
Knox18930149
Rutherford17930161
Hamilton16861152
Williamson1149080
Sumner9817137
Out of TN776154
Wilson752678
Montgomery668083
Sullivan648597
Washington6073106
Putnam597582
Maury591867
Blount553161
Madison5368110
Bradley525234
Sevier493731
Unassigned484222
Robertson381253
Tipton371139
Hamblen350161
Gibson324265
Dyer322051
Greene311672
Anderson298729
Dickson293834
Coffee284841
Bedford278830
Carter274955
Lawrence270134
Obion268651
Cumberland261136
McMinn255055
Warren241020
Roane237029
Jefferson229533
Loudon229319
Fayette226938
Hardeman225337
Monroe217844
Weakley217837
Franklin211934
Lauderdale205823
Hawkins196834
Wayne192810
Trousdale190812
Henderson185434
Macon184628
Hardin179025
White176718
Marshall176520
Carroll176434
Rhea171431
Haywood163330
Cocke162330
Lincoln161416
Cheatham159817
Campbell155223
Overton155035
Henry154319
Giles147549
Smith145319
Johnson142421
McNairy141133
Fentress122120
Hickman119319
Lake11786
Bledsoe11745
DeKalb117322
Crockett115626
Marion110119
Scott10857
Chester102821
Grainger101518
Decatur95712
Unicoi86226
Claiborne8499
Benton81614
Grundy77914
Cannon7693
Lewis76514
Morgan7396
Union7225
Humphreys7198
Jackson68410
Polk67315
Stewart60115
Houston58820
Clay55418
Sequatchie5325
Meigs49513
Perry48421
Moore3943
Pickett38913
Van Buren3692
Hancock1723

Community Events