President Donald Trump jetted to Cincinnati on Monday afternoon to tout the gains already being realized as a result of the tax law that Congress passed -- and he signed -- at the end of 2017.
And, he did that -- sort of. In classic Trump fashion, his speech featured a series of impromptu riffs on everything from Democrats not standing to applaud during State of the Union to the Super Bowl to the Nunes memo to his love for equipment.
I combed through the transcript and pulled out the most quotable lines. They're below.
1. "And we're starting to boom, you know that."
Now that is how you start a speech!
2. "And everyone has fallen in love with it."
People don't just like the tax cuts. They have actively fallen in love with them. They may marry the tax cuts.
3. "I'll tell you, Rob Portman, he knows his stuff."
He does! Rob Portman is a smart dude! But, I cite this Portman reference because it's the first of roughly 1,000 times that Trump calls to Portman during the speech. It got to the point of being slightly weird. Right, Rob?
4. "I love equipment."
5. "I love workers.
6. "I was a young success."
That's the best kind of success. Way better than old success.
7. "We love manufacturing. Those are real jobs, not the other kind where they talk but there's nothing there."
Wait, what are these other jobs Trump is talking about? And can I have one? They seem easy!
8. "We're bringing back those four magnificent words: 'Made in the USA.'"
That's not four words.
9. "We'll count 'USA' as one word. Is that okay? I just said -- have to think about that one."
Alright. I'll allow it. Just this once.
10. "Remember two things. Number one, I said, we're going to be saying Christmas again. And, number two, I said I was going to give you a Christmas present."
It's February 6.
11. "And then I heard one of the hating groups on television: 'He promised a Christmas present.'"
Revealing. In Trump's world, all opposition to him and his policies equal "hating." There are only two types of people in his world: People who love him and people who (unfairly) hate him.
12. "Otherwise I would have been hearing -- Rob --"
Amirite, Rob? You know what I am saying.
13. "She would press us. Right, Rob? She would press us."
Good ol' Rob. He remembers how Ivanka demanded a child tax credit be included in the tax bill.
14. "I would have been happy with the $350 million, but you know, I like this number slightly better."
$350 billion > $350 million
15. "I've been -- either you renegotiate or you terminate."
"You terminate" is such a Trumpism. Believe me.
16. "I mean, you haven't heard that in -- how many years would you say, Rob?"
Take a guess, Rob. You're good with numbers. Do it.
17. "Ten, 15, 20 years, I've been talking."
18. "I am non-braggadocios. [Laughter]"
Yup. That about covers it.
19. "Nice to be loved. It's nice to be loved."
An unwitting look into Trump's soul
20. "Oh, but did we catch them in the act, or what? You know what I'm talking -- oh, did we catch them in the act?"
Trump is referring here -- I think??? -- to the release of the Nunes memo and his belief that it proves there was a deep state conspiracy work against him within the Justice Department. (It doesn't.) I say "I think" because there is zero lead-up to this comment by Trump and nothing close to an explanation offered.
21. "They never thought they were going to get caught. We caught them. Hey, we caught them. It's so much fun. We're like the great sleuth."
22. "You know, without the military, we might not be here, or we might not be here for long, believe me."
23. "I think we're going to do well in '18. I think we're going to do well in '18. I think we're going to do very well."
Since World War II, the president's party loses 36 House seats on average when that president is under 50% approval.
24. "Nobody, really, has been able to explain it properly."
Trump here is saying he -- and he alone -- has figured out why a president's party does poorly in the midterm election after he wins. His never-before-considered solution? The winning party's voters are fat and happy while the losing side is fired up to send the winners a message. Which, of course, has been the operating theory to explain losses by the president's party in the midterms since, roughly, always.
25. "Maybe they go to a movie in '18."
Which reminds me: I haven't seen "Jumanji" yet....
26. "We can't -- I know we're going to do great in '20 because, by that time -- see, what happens is, if you did badly '18, now you're all angry again and you're going -- and now, '20 comes along. But we want to do great in '18."
Yes, what Trump is saying here is that Republican losses in 2018 would probably be a good thing for him in 2020. But, he's still rooting for his side!
27. "You're not going to a restaurant -- although you could."
Welcome to my constant dilemma: Eat at home or go out.
28. "I said, what's going on with the word 'deplorable,' Rob."
Rob, where have you been my whole life??!?!
29. "She's our secret weapon."
Trump on Nancy Pelosi. And, if past is prologue, he might be right. The Republican base loathes Pelosi and may well turn out to keep her out of power.
30. "Don't you think, Rob?"
R-O-B in the house!
31. "They were like death and un-American. Un-American."
I actually think Trump calling Democrats who didn't applaud for him during the State of the Union "un-American" somehow got underplayed. Refusing to cheer is not un-American. Exercising your right to not clap -- without fear of punishment -- is the essence of being an American.
32. "Somebody said, 'treasonous.' I mean, yeah, I guess, why not? Can we call that treason? Why not?"
33. "So we've gone from being one of the highest-taxed countries anywhere in the world."
This is interesting. Trump has long insisted the US is the highest taxed country in the world despite the fact that the data doesn't support that. Now, he's couching it a bit.
34. "There was nobody kneeling at the beginning of the Super Bowl. We've made a lot of improvement, haven't we? That's a big improvement."
Trump takes credit for eradicating kneeling in the NFL ...
35. "We're also thrilled to have a lot of the fake news media in the back. Those cameras are rolling."
Make no mistake: Trump is absolutely thrilled the media are covering his every word. He sounds like he is being sarcastic here -- and that's on purpose. But, really, he is not.
36. "That's what's good about doing it live."
"We'll do it live." -- Bill O'Reilly
37. "I want to start with a man I watched today on Fox."
"I have very little time for watching TV." -- Donald Trump
38. "Oh, we're building the wall. Believe me. We're building the wall. Don't even think about it."
[shakes hands, nods, walks away]
39. "[Democrats] don't care about the security of our country. They don't care about MS-13 killers pouring into our country."
This feels like an oversimplification. But maybe I am wrong.
40. "You love it -- thinking about where I'm going to put that next big, beautiful machine."
41. "'Donald Trump has to go through Ohio.' And did we ever go through Ohio. Right? We went through Ohio."
Not sure if you had heard this but Trump won Ohio in the 2016 presidential race.....
42. "Now it's much better than even Election Day. I saw that -- they just showed that to me inside."
Is Trump referring to private polling here? That shows him popular in Ohio?If so, I would be very interested in seeing those numbers.
43. "They thought I gave a State of the Union last year that was really good."
Who is "they"? If it's the media, aren't we "fake news"? Can't have it both ways.
44. "They worked, they worked, they worked. They paid, they paid, they paid."
He knows my life so well!
45. "Rob, thank you very much. Thank everybody."
Hey Rob! Good job out of you!